@import url("http://www.blogger.com/css/blog_controls.css"); @import url("http://www.blogger.com/dyn-css/authorization.css?blogID=8706105"); Hardik Shah - Trying to be with the Technology

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

GMail Sure Rock.

Well as I had mentioned earlier, I had 4 gmail Invites left. If anyone had gmail and if lucky ones got invites, clickin on the invite button will make a new window appear, where in you can send the invite to ur friends.

Well there is a catch out here. I recently had installed a popup blocker on my machine. It blocks all the popups that come on a website. When I clicked on the invite list, as intended, it blocked the invite window.

But then, Gmail is smarter than a stupid-old popup-blocker (or shall i say GOOGLE), as soon as there was a popup-block notification to gmail, there was this saying on the blocker, "A popup Blocker might have blocked the Invite window, kindly disable it in order to send invites"

Now wasnt that smart enough.. Way to go GOOGLE..

Monday, August 30, 2004

No Lectures Happenin

Past three days, its like, there have been no lectures happening at the college. Only praticals and then ppl have just gone home..

However there are quite a few "studious" ppl, who actually wait behind and screw us on attendence.. Guys not fair at all. When its common off, it has to be the same.

Officially Announced in Leading Newspapers

Today morning, it was officially anncounced in all the Leading newspapers of INDIA, that Longhorn would be released in 2006, without WinFS , the next generation storage and search solution from MS.

Feels cool, to actually look at MS sites and jot it down even before the newspapers officially carry it ;)

Sunday, August 29, 2004

GMail Invites

Good day today. In the morning, I had 2 Gmail invites!! Gave them off to my close friends. And guess what.. Now in the evening 1900 hrs, I have 6 more of them to give away.

SO any takers???

Longhorn wont take too long now

Microsoft, the worlds largest software giant shocked the computer industry yesterday. It announced that it would deliver its next major Windows release in 2006, but would do so without WinFS (Window Future Storage), one of the original major components of that upgrade.

2004 has been dull for Longhorn. Awash as it is in ever-increasing delays, Longhorn has been the subject of barbs from even the most dimmed-minded computer industry columnists, many of whom have begun comparing the Longhorn release to Cairo, Microsoft's aborted mid-1990's object-oriented OS project. And no wonder: Like Cario, Longhorn was to have included the technological equivalent of the kitchen sink, and then some. Clearly, something in Longhorn had to give.

As of now, however, that's no longer true. On the Friday, August 27, 2004, Microsoft revealed what industry observers had long suspected: The company is now going to pare down its Longhorn release and ship some previously key technologies separately from the massive new OS. But even though the official announcement pretty much lays out this new plan succinctly, there were indications that Microsoft was heading in this direction previously :P

Office 12.0 : Originally planned as a Longhorn-specific release that would ship alongside the Longhorn client release, Office 12 has been changed dramatically since last year. Firstly, Office 12 would only run on Longhorn. Then, Microsoft announced that it would ship Office 12 for both Longhorn and Windows XP in order to benefit a wider range of users. Now, Microsoft plans to ship Office 12 well ahead of Longhorn. So you all Office Fans, better keep watchin.. Office 2003 may be a passe...

Friday, August 27, 2004

Women and Programming

ASSEMBLER:- She is hard and bumpy and is not that pleasant to embrace. She is not beautiful or educated and speaks monosyllables like “MOV”, “JUMP”, “INC”……

FORTRAN:- Your grey haired grandmother. People make fun of her just because she is old, but if you take time to listen, you can learn from your experiences and her mistakes.

A lady executive, and avid jogger, very healthy and not too talkative.

COBOL:- A plump secretary. She talks too much, and most of what she says can be ignored. She works hard and long hours, but can’t really handle complicated jobs.

BASIC:- The divorcee, who lives next door, likes seducing young boys and it seems she is readily available for them. She teaches them amazing things or at least seem amazing because it is their first experience.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Letter of a Software Professional to his Girlfriend

I saw you the other day while surfing on a local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for quite a long time. For a long time, I’ve been lonely, this has bugging my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is just and uncompiled program without you which never produces an executable code and hence totally issueless. You are not only beautiful by face but all the ActiveX controls present in you are equally attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful which encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results, which I never experienced before. With this letter I just want to convey to you that, if we are linked together, I will provide you all objects and libraries necessary for human being to live an error free life.

Also don’t bother about the firewall which may be created by out parents as I’ve strong hacking capabilities by which I’ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for out marriage.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged into your database so that my connect script will fail. And it’s all certain that if this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Byee.. Waiting for u r response

From your browser.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

What is Longhorn?

Longhorn is a confusing product. In many ways, it is a drastically revolutionary
operating system, sporting a completely new .NET-based software development infrastructure that provides Windows with core presentation, storage, communication, security, and management features that would be difficult if not impossible to implement on previous Windows versions. On the other hand, Longhorn is very much an evolutionary improvement over Windows XP and Windows Server 2003, offering backwards compatibility with applications dating back to MS-DOS. One of the very real factors behind the success of Windows is Microsoft's dedication to not completely obsoleting previous technologies. That is, there is little distinction between a "real" Longhorn application--one that is written directly to Longhorn's new programming interfaces--and a "legacy" Win32-based application that runs today on Windows XP; instead, Microsoft actually provides developers with ways to easily add Longhorn-specific functionality to these legacy applications, without even requiring them to recompile, or recreate, the original application. I don't intend to delve too far into this aspect of Longhorn's programming interfaces in this review--after all, there's already enough ground to cover as it is--but this attention to developer needs is often overlooked, especially by Microsoft's critics.

Longhorn is a complicated product. Once you get past the immature veneer of the current alpha builds, you discover a wealth of new features, some of which are already implemented, some of which will arrive in later builds. And then there's the stuff we don't know about: With two years of development time, Longhorn will likely change dramatically between now and the final release. Fortunately, I think it's safe to assume that that many of the low-level technologies I present here are pretty much written in stone, and won't change that much at all.

Monday, August 23, 2004

The Art of "Breaking" News

This is how a lady might say d news to her mom:

Dear Mom,

I know I haven't written for three months, but I have been very busy and I've been having a very exciting time. Actually, I'm just back from the hospital, where I had spent a fortnight about two months ago. It was nothing, really - just a concussion on the back of my head, a broken leg and a ! hairline fracture, that I got while jumping out of the second floor of my hostel when it caught fire. In fact, I can now stand all by myself without crutches, and can almost see everything perfectly, except for a slight blur.

But don't worry. The doctor says there is a good chance of me walking on my own again. Actually,it could have been worse, if not for that nice chai-walla who saw me lying there in a dead faint and rushed me to hospital. He was very helpful, really, and came to see me everyday in the hospital. Now that I am out of hospital, I had nowhere to go, as the hostel is still under construction. So when he suggested that I move in with him in his hut, I thought it was very kind of him, and agreed. We are very much in love now, and I am sure that you and Dad will surely like him and accept him in the family. I am sure the minor matter that he is fourteen years older than me and that he is of a different caste and religion, will not matter at all to broadminded parents ! like you.

He may be illiterate and poor, but he has a heart of gold - really, Mom, you should see how he cares for both of us - me and his wife, that is. She is quite sweet too, and so are her three children; so there is absolutely no problem. You must be wondering how you and Dad got informed so late. Don't get angry, Mom. We just didn't have the time. You see, we decided to get married only recently since we thought it would be unfair to let our baby into the world without a proper surname.

Yes, Mom, you are going to be a grandmother! Congratulations! I am sure you and Dad are delighted, and will come to visit us in his village in Mizoram after we shift there next week.

OK Mom. All this did not really happen. There was no fire, no fracture, no bigamous chai-walla and no illegitimate pregnancy. But I did flunk in my Mathematics exam, and I wanted you to view this problem in the right perspective.

Your Darling Daughter...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Mistake !!!

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident...

If a doctor makes a mistake,
It's an operation...

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a new theory...

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is our mistake...

If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "MISTAKE"

Shattered Dream...

Today I lost my dream,
It's flick on my mind makes me scream,

The future with which my eyes jaded,
Those promising moments look faded,

My virtues & life seems complicated,
Why do I feel that I'm rejected?

The sparkling lights I was waiting to see,
Came very near and passed by me,

Leaving every hope I built shattered,
In broken pieces, I lie scattered,

Will gather my strength and get up again,
For another blow, which I will sustain,

I promise my life, I will change my fate,
If not sooner, then maybe a bit late...

If GOD would have VoiceMail..

What if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this :

Thank you for calling The Lord's House. Please select from the following options:

Press 3 for COMPLAINTS.
Press 4 for HEALING.
Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS.
Press 6 for RAIN or No RAIN.
Press 7 for MIRACLES.

What if God used the familiar excuse:
"I'm sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in this millennium."

Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you call God in prayer:

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11.
For Michael, press 22.
For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55.
Then wait for the beep and enter the number of the Psalm you wish to hear.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, press 62.
Enter his or her social security number, the press the pound (#) key, enter his or her date of birth, then press the pound (#) key twice.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noah's Ark is, Darwin, Hitler, the Pope, abortion, and UFOs, please wait until you arrive here, answers can only be understood from a "heavenly perspective."

To reach Lucifer, press 666, and your call will be automatically transferred. PLEASE be careful, your receiver may become warm.

Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday, after 9:30 A.M., but before 4:30 ACST (Absolute Celestial Standard Time).

To order any religious material enter catalog number, quantity, and a major credit card number plus expiration date.

For emergencies, refer to your BIBLE.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

LIFE without a Girl Friend, rules

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend, rules ..........

1. You can stare at any Girl.......

2. You don't have to spend money on her.

3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.

4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

5. If u don't have a girlfriend ,she can't dump u.

6. Having a girlfriend is hot,not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.

10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place.

12. You can have more boy friends(Friends who r Boys), as u will have more time for them.

13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of action thrillers.

14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.

15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.

16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special'friend with ur folks.

17. No nonstop nonsense.

18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears!!!.

19. No tension.

20. You can be "urself"

21. You wont have to hide the telephone bills.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Teched Academia @ Mumbai

Well Yesterday had been a long day. I was at TechED, the academic version of Tech.ED. Was a real happening event from Microsoft. Got to meet my friends from Microsoft, Kevin, Ashwini, Jani and Sanjay Ofcourse. Also came across Pradeep, who is the driving force behind all the "goodies" that we students get.

Had a long chat with these guys from MS, on the academic initiatives happeining across the globe from MS's point of view. Also when Sanjay, got my name on the stage, lots of Professors from across Pune and Mumbai, interacted with me to start up a .NET Chapter at their respective colleges.

As of now, I am writing this entry sitting at the Speaker's Lounge at Taj Land's End, where the event is actually happening.. Its a break time and what the better thing to do than write the updates for the BLOG!!!!!!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Back to HOME!!!

Phew!! After a week's stay at Pune (where I study), its good to be back to Mumbai.. After all its my HOME TOWN!!!

Gonna attend TechED out here, from tomorrow.. Phew!! Have a long week ahead... ;)

Saturday, August 14, 2004

The Future of Customer Care

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut .. May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Yourhome number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " Wat!"

Operator : "According to the details in system , you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " *'!^ *%^**%^I7*"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th June you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

MSDN Magazine now in .chm form

Friday, August 13, 2004

IT Movies.com

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Some Indian film titles may be like these :

Network Ke Us Paar
Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
Aao Chat Kare Programmer No.1
Mera Naam Developer
Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein
Do Processor, Baarah Terminal
Tera Code Chal Gaya
Har Din Jo Mail Karega
Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
Jish Desh Mein NarayanaMurthy Rehatha Hai
Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!
Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari
Login Karo Sajana
1942 -- A Bug Story
Kaho Na Virus Hai
Crash Se Crash Tak
Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
Shaheed Hacker Singh
Password De Ke Dekho
Terminal Apna, Login Parayi
Mr. Network Lal
Terminal Sajaake Rakhna
Programmers Ki Rani, Hackers Ka Raja
Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha
Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi
Hang To Hona Hi Tha

More will come up soon.. Happy Blogging!!!

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Web Based MSN Messenger

At my college, our internet lab does not allow me to use MSN or Yahoo messengers. This meant that i was not connected!! :(

Luckily for me Microsoft released it Webbased MSN Messenger. Though a bit too slow on dialup, its rockin when you have a 2 MBPS leased line.. So all you fellows who hate ur college or ur office for now allowing you to use MSN, check http://webmessenger.msn.com..

Go and show ur professors/bosses the RIGHT ATTITUDE of a software professional!!!

PS: If you have a dialup connection, i suggest you all use http://www.e-messenger.net.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

DevCon 2004 @ Mumbai

DevCon as the name "speaks" means "Developer's Conference". DevCon is a developer event organized by the developer community for the developer community. The objective is to enable developers to request for topics which they wish to be educated about and delivery of such content is by developers who are expert speakers. It covers topics which are of interest to developers chosen by developers themselves. It was first held at Trivendrum, India, in 2003. Approx. 200 professionals attended it and was a HUGE hit!!!

Following this event, we had DevCon happening last week at Mumbai. Last year, it was only for Developers, and the topics too were developer related. Student's are not only the future of any Country, they are also the people who will carry this technology forward. Hence this year, we had two tracks, one for the professional and the second for students.

DevCon 2004 was or ganized by INETA, MumbaiUserGroup and PuneUserGroup. It was held at Thakur College of Engineering, Mumbai, India. We had a total of 100+ people who attended the developer track and 100 who attended the academic track. This is good considering it was a weekend. All our speakers got a minimum rating of 4 out of 5 and above which is excellent.

Plannings are goin on to roll out DevCon at Ahemdabad, Pune, Bangalore and Hyderabad. This was the largest volunteer led community effort in this country and it feels awesome to be a part of this group.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Technical Help Required

Problem Faced:

Last year I upgraded from girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that thenew program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of spaceand valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in theproduct brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all otherprograms and launches during system initialization, where it monitors allother system activity.

Applications such as Smoking10.3, Boozing2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0crash the system whenever selected. I cannot keep wife1.0 in backgroundwhile attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like NightClub 4.3, Dance Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77. I am thinking aboutgoing back to Girl Friend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on thisprogram. Can you help me, please !!!!!

Reply from Technical Support:

This is a very common problem that male users complain about, but it ismostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend7.0 to Wife1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY &ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and isdesigned by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the systemonce installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 isnot designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in yourmanual under "Warning-Alimony Child Support" which was given to you at thetime of registration with Wife 1.0. Having wife 1.0 installed myself, Ifeel the best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE.In fact I would suggest that you use this command every time Wife 1.0crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very highmaintenance.

Consider buying additional s/w to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or even Movies 4.5 which willimprove the performance of Wife 1.0. Do not, under any circumstances,install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3.

This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to causeirreversible damage to the OPERATING SYSTEM.

Best of luck, Tech support

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